Of judgment, perception and reality

Today, while having dinner with a few buddies, I caught myself passing judgment on people. Well, 1 specific person actually.

They were talking about Angelina Jolie's recent preventive mastectomy, and how tough and painful it must have been for her to have made such decision. And my first thought (to myself) was "well, it's shouldn't be too bad for her, since she has had such great and successful life all this years".

That's when I caught myself. I judged her. I did so, perhaps due to the fact that I perceive her life to be so good all this while. I mean, that's a fact right? She's Angelina Jolie, wife of Brad Pitt and mother to his children. She's a superstar. Life couldn't possibly be that hard for her. Or is that a perception?

Like when Mariah Carey had that meltdown decades ago. My response was similar - "Please, what is there to break down from? Stardom? How bad can it be?". But the reality is, I know nothing about her life. Nothing truly personal anyway.

But over the years, I've learned. I know better now. I know that pain is pain. It has no relevance to other parts of life, its success, or how great everything else seem to go. When you experience loss, failure, rejection, disappointment, or anything else that breaks our heart, we experience pain. And at that specific moment, the pain has no relevance to all other things in our life.

Whoever we are, whatever we've done, however life has been. Pain is pain. No more no less.

So yes, I owe Angelina Jolie and Mariah Carey an apology. But since I don't have their address, emails or tweeter account, i think writing it here is more than sufficient. Am pretty sure they wouldn't mind ;)

For the record, I applaud Angelina Jolie for what I believe, is a beautiful act of selflessness, which most probably stemmed from her love towards her family. Your courage is astounding. And it makes you even more beautiful as a human being than you already are.

I'm glad I caught myself today.